Tomorrow is going to be Josh’s 1st birthday. It has been a tremendously wonderful experience for me. Seeing my son respond to me and Cherry is a joy that far exceeds the joy that money brings. In his small little ways, he has taught me many precious lessons. Now I can safely say that I understand what the Bible means whenever they make reference to the parent-child analogies to explain how much we mean to God.

Celebrating Josh’s 1st birthday comes at a time when Cherry and I grieve with Tenny and Patrica’s at their loss. They were supposed to have added one more baby to our group but due to unforeseen circumstances, baby Caleb went home to be with the Lord on 28Jan 2009. Somehow, it just seems unfair and cruel for God to take away the soul of one so young, but then again, I’m reminded of Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I’ve learnt through my own trial the God really is in control not only in good times and also the bad. His hand will not lead me where His grace and mercy cannot follow. Tenny and Pat, what we would like to say is that we can only imagine the pain and sorrow that you have experienced. However, God will grant to you the desires of your heart – supernatural healing, comfort and yes, another child. Take heart! God is too wise to be mistaken. He is too good to be unkind. So when you don’t understand, when you can’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His Hand, Trust His Heart!

The journey with Josh for Cherry and me has only just began. With every milestone, every memory, every shapshot of his every changing expressions, we move on. We move on to the next phase with every single small step he takes. I’ve asked myself lately the real meaning of my life. I will never forget holding Josh for the very 1st time. When Dr Esther passed him to me, I remember thanking God for giving us the miracle of life. I also made a promise to myself that I will live to protect this precious one of mine as long as I shall live. Indeed, there were moments of “great” suffering (with his endless crying and booming voice), there were moments of anxiety (when Josh fell from the toilet bowl and the bump was fiercely red and big), but through these moments, he has taught Cherry and myself to trust the Lord more. These moments turn to joy as we watch him grow day by day.

Now that I’m back in Singapore, each night before he sleeps I’ll try to hug him and whisper into his little ear and tell him how much I love him and that he brings joy to my life everyday. I hope he will in time also learn to love me and tell me the words that I want to hear : I love you dad!.

Joshie – Daddy and mummy loves you very much and we’re proud to have you as our son!